The L Word Generation Q : Episode 5

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_post_title meta=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_color=”light” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”#01422f” _builder_version=”4.4.3″ background_image=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/lword-engagement.jpg”][/et_pb_post_title][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ text_font_size=”25px” text_line_height=”1.3em”]

Instead of diving into my thoughts and recap on L Word Episode 5 ‘Generation Q’, I am going to give you some important lessons in communication we can learn from episode 5. I would title this episode COMMUNICATION or BUST!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_2_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_2_text_color=”#01422f” header_2_font_size=”35px”]

LESSON #1: BEGIN TO TELL THE TRUTH TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS!

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/LWord-Episode-5-Finley.jpeg” _builder_version=”4.4.3″][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_3_font_size=”30px”]

Finley is so trashed that she did not even realize that she told Rebecca she was not a “real priest”. I could write a whole blog on not drunk texting and sharing feelings, but I will save that for another time.
The big lesson in communication here is when Rebecca said, “I was with a guy once and I stayed him for way too long because I was waiting for him to change and he said, “stop trying to fix me.” “And he was right, you can’t fix people”.

And of course Finley missed it all!

The kicker, the best lines of the whole scene was when Rebecca said, “I need to be with someone who is my equal. You need to work on your own shit. You have deep wounds, and I don’t know who hurt you, but somebody did.”

And like most people, Finley denied being hurt by anyone.

HERE IS THE LESSON: We, everyone, have to start telling ourselves the truth.

It is OK to be hurt! It is OK to have trauma! Where we run into problems is when we lie to ourselves about what it is. It is even worse when we try to run away from what we really want to try and fix someone else. We live in a world where we do not tell people the truth anymore and when we do we are labeled as cruel. Now, there is a fine line between controlling people and telling them what is “right” and “wrong” versus telling people what is true for you. Rebecca could have held on to Finley and lied to her about what she wanted and how she shows up for her and hope one day she would be better, but they both would have suffered. Think about it…how many relationships have you had that you knew you shouldn’t have been in but stayed because you both were lying to yourselves and each other and it would hurt your pride to admit otherwise. There would be less heartache if we were honest with one another and with ourselves. What are you lying about? What are you hiding? What are you withholding from your partner? Parents? Siblings?

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″]

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_2_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_2_text_color=”#01422f” header_2_font_size=”35px”]

LESSON #2: SET COMMUNICATION GUIDELINES BEFORE YOU GET SERIOUS WITH SOMEONE!

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/LWord-Episode-5-Sophie-Dani-Talk.jpeg” _builder_version=”4.4.3″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_3_text_color=”#01422f” header_3_font_size=”30px”]

Dani and Sophie have to deal with a lot when it comes to Dani’s dad, but that is the least of their problems. In the spirit of communication, they have not set clear guidelines as to how and when they talk about things. Dani is obviously someone who needs time to process things and Sophie is the one who wants to talk about things right now this second. There are several people I know that are like this in their relationship; one needs time and the other wants to talk right now. I have talked to several people and they all think Dani is running away from Sophie and she should have talked to her in the car, etc. But..here is the thing…Sophie should give Dani time to process AND Dani has to deal with what is it about Dani’s “processing time” that has her feeling insecure. From what I have seen, Dani always comes back to Sophie to talk about their problems. Sophie (I am talking to all the Sophie’s out there) should understand that Dani is dealing with some real shit with her dad and may need time to process it all…on top of a wedding.

HERE IS THE LESSON:  HAVE COMMUNICATION GUIDELINES SET UP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I am one of those people who need to talk about things right now, this very moment. AND what I have come to learn is that not everyone communicates the same, not everyone is like me and not everyone grew up with the outspoken family like I did. I have had to learn to adjust my communication a bit. I give my girlfriend the time she needs, but I also request that we DO talk about it. There is no such thing as ignoring a topic.

Another lesson in all of this is: Do not let other people convince you that you have to have the same communication style as your partner!

People want to get out of working on and making an effort in relationships, so they tell you to find someone who communicates like you do or dump them. I have dated someone who communicated the same way I did and because we did not have any down time we were strictly driven by emotions and always ended up angrily screaming at each other and resolving nothing. I also dated someone who did not communicate at all. That did not work either! The only real way to know is to talk about it and work on it. 

If you are committing to being in relationship long-term you have figure out what works for you both and openly talk about things.

Talk about the HOW (what’s the process)

WHEN (certain times of day work better to talk about important things)

WHERE (there are certain places in the house you should not talk…i.e. the bed or rooms that give off more heat than others)

and the WHAT (be clear on the issue. A lot of times we think it’s one thing, but it is something else).

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_2_text_color=”#01422f” header_2_font_size=”35px”]

LESSON #3: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH COMMUNICATION!

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/LWord-Episode-5-Alice.jpg” _builder_version=”4.4.3″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_3_font_size=”30px”]

In this day in age where the traditional aspects of gender, sexuality, and relationships are being challenged, communication can get you any type of relationship you want. Let’s take the newfound Throuple of Alice, GiGi and Nat. They first had a conversation about the the actual throuple action and what everyone thought about it and Nat had so much to say. It was great that Alice and GiGi let her say what she needed to say and then they all sat around and talked about what the throuple would actually look like. Who would go to the kid’s swim meet? Who would make the snacks? Do they do red carpet events together? And at the end of the episode they were all at Angie’s play holding hands.

HERE IS THE LESSON: YOU CAN GET WHATEVER YOU WANT WHEN YOU COMMUNICATE! 

People say relationships can be hard and polyamory and throuples are harder, but people are finding it easier to have these relationships because of the amount of communication they have to do. 

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_2_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_2_text_color=”#01422f” header_2_font_size=”35px”]

LESSON #4: ANYTHING CAN BE FIXED WITH A CONVERSATION!

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/LWord-Episode-5-Micah.png” _builder_version=”4.4.3″][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_3_font_size=”30px”]

So Micah and Jose had an awkward moment when Jose said, “I love you” to Micah, which he called an error. I have been there. I have slipped up and said “I love you” at the “wrong” time or “too early” and boy let me tell you, there is nothing more uncomfortable than that. 

HERE IS THE LESSON: ANYTHING CAN BE RESOLVED WITH A CONVERSATION

People like to ignore things, but then they sit there and wonder things and make things up and go down this whole rabbit hole of “what ifs”. Micah and Jose were presented with the either ignoring it and being awkward about it and simply thinking it was an error, or…they could have the conversation and resolve it. This also opened up for them to have the conversation about what Micah, who is trans, wants in regards to sex. Ignoring any conversation does not solve or clarify anything. TALK! TALK! and then TALK SOME MORE! Early relationships should probably over communicate. 

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ header_4_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” header_4_text_color=”#01422f” header_4_font_size=”25px” header_4_line_height=”1.3em”]

We live in a world where we are the most connected AND the most disconnected we have ever been because of technology. We live in a world where we can have anything we want, do not let lack of communication keep you from what you want.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

FEELING LIKE YOUR SPOUSE IS BETTER THAN YOU?

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Page Title Section” _builder_version=”3.22″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#000000″ background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(0,0,0,0)” background_color_gradient_direction=”120deg” background_color_gradient_overlays_image=”on” background_image=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Quantico-Austin-Life-Coach-Kita-Adams.jpg” background_position=”top_center” custom_padding=”110px||110px|”][et_pb_row admin_label=”Page Title Area” _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” column_structure=”1_2,1_2″][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Title” _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”||||||||” header_font=”Source Sans Pro|700|||||||” header_font_size=”60px” header_line_height=”1.2em” header_2_font=”||||||||” header_2_font_size=”60px” background_layout=”dark” custom_margin=”||20px|” custom_padding=”|||” animation_style=”fade” header_font_size_tablet=”” header_font_size_phone=”40px” header_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone”]

BACKSEAT

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Page Subtitle” _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”Source Sans Pro|600|||||||” text_line_height=”1.8em” header_font=”||||||||” background_layout=”dark” animation_style=”fade”]There is an episode of Quantico that I was watching where Ryan Booth, boyfriend/lover/”teammate” to Alex Parish, has a very important conversation with former CIA Director Matthew Keyes.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Feature – Image Left” _builder_version=”3.22″ custom_margin=”|||” custom_padding=”25px|0px|27px|0px”][et_pb_row use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”0px|0px|0|0px” animation_style=”fade” column_structure=”1_2,1_2″][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Source Sans Pro|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_letter_spacing=”1px” header_2_line_height=”1.4em” header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro|700||on|||||” header_3_text_color=”#ca372d” header_3_font_size=”18px” header_3_letter_spacing=”1px” header_3_line_height=”2em”]

Don’t Settle For Less

Headline that captures your audience about you

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#ca372d” divider_weight=”2px” _builder_version=”3.0.104″ max_width=”60px” module_alignment=”left” height=”2px”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” text_font_size=”20px” text_letter_spacing=”1px” text_line_height=”2em” header_font=”||||||||” max_width=”550px”]For a little background information, Ryan Booth was one bad ass FBI Agent, but Alex Parish was always better. SHE always rebelled against “the book”, but was always right. SHE knew when someone was lying. SHE knew when things did not feel right and she ALWAYS went with her gut. Ryan and Alex had this constant on again, off again kind of relationship and it was pretty painful to watch because you could also see and feel the love between them. It was that bottom of the 9th, 3-2 count, home run in the World Series kind of love. (For all my non-sports people out there, that’s a deep, exciting kind of love!)
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”5%|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https://kitaadams.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/QUANTICO-BLOG-POST-AUSTIN-LIFE-COACH.jpg” align_tablet=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” _builder_version=”3.23″ animation_style=”fade” box_shadow_style=”preset4″ box_shadow_horizontal=”-80px” box_shadow_vertical=”50px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(1,102,72,0.15)”][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″ custom_padding=”25px|0px|13px|0px”][et_pb_row module_class=” et_pb_row_fullwidth” _builder_version=”3.25″ width=”94%” width_tablet=”80%” width_last_edited=”on|desktop” max_width=”94%” max_width_tablet=”80%” max_width_last_edited=”on|desktop” make_fullwidth=”on”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”Source Sans Pro||||||||” text_font_size=”20px” text_letter_spacing=”1px” text_line_height=”2em” max_width=”550px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|||140px||”]Anyhow, back to the conversation, Matthew Keyes in this conversation shoots Ryan Booth’s ego down a bit. The former CIA Director admits that he is married to a super-powerful operative and says he is happy to stay at home with the kids. He understands that Ryan is threatened by Alex’s success, but says that letting yourself have the “backseat” makes you a better partner. Now I do not know about being a “better” partner because Ryan is already great, but there is something POWERFUL about being understanding and supportive…its powerful for not only you, but for your partner. Appreciation goes a long way and couples today very rarely show gratitude to one another, esp after the “honeymoon” stage of dating.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Free Consult” _builder_version=”3.22″ background_color=”#000000″ background_position=”top_right” background_blend=”color-dodge” custom_margin=”|||” custom_padding=”50px|0px|50px|0px”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_color=”#ffffff” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#1c0006″ background_color_gradient_end=”#39010c” custom_margin=”|||” custom_padding=”60px|60px|60px|60px”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” header_2_text_color=”#ffffff” header_3_font=”Source Sans Pro|900||on|||||” header_3_text_color=”#ffffff” header_3_font_size=”16px” header_3_letter_spacing=”3px”]

Free Consult

Set Up a Free Consultation Today!

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#ca372d” divider_weight=”3px” _builder_version=”3.0.104″ max_width=”10%” module_alignment=”center” height=”10px”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″ text_font=”||||||||” background_layout=”dark”]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Morbi et leo condimentum, mollis velit interdum, congue quam. Etiam molestie egestas quam. Vivamus maximus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_text=”CONTACT ME!” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”3.16″ custom_button=”on” button_text_color=”#ffffff” button_bg_use_color_gradient=”on” button_bg_color_gradient_start=”rgba(232,183,54,0.75)” button_bg_color_gradient_end=”#e8b736″ button_bg_color_gradient_direction=”250deg” button_border_width=”0px” button_border_radius=”0px” button_letter_spacing=”1px” button_font=”Source Sans Pro|600||on|||||” button_icon=”%%36%%” button_icon_color=”#ffffff” button_icon_placement=”left” button_text_color_hover=”#ffffff” button_letter_spacing_hover=”1px” button_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_text_color__hover_enabled=”on” button_text_color__hover=”#ffffff” button_one_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”on” button_letter_spacing__hover=”1px” button_one_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off”][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

Blog Post Title

What goes into a blog post? Helpful, industry-specific content that: 1) gives readers a useful takeaway, and 2) shows you’re an industry expert.

Use your company’s blog posts to opine on current industry topics, humanize your company, and show how your products and services can help people.